Who I am
by PinkNeonGlitter
Summary: Who I am is about a girl named Bella who struggles with finding out who she is while taking care of twin boys she never thought she'd have all because her mom had bad taste in men. Follow Bella . . . more summary inside. Rated T just because
1. Chapter 1

For me, things have always made sense. I never once questioned anything. _But now_. . . .? I question everything, from the simplest things to the overly unthought-of type of things. Maybe to make things less confusing I'll start from the beginning.

I was conceived by a seventeen year old girl and a thirty-seven year old man, weird and sad but completely true. Thing is my mom, Renee has always been a flighty dare devil, who in the end will always run from things and be a 'free spirited person'. She had seduced, Charlie, my biological father. She'd always refer to it as her new 'challenge'. Thing was it wasn't easy because he was married with kids of his own. She used her light brown, well trimmed hair, perfect caramel eyes, and long sexy legs to capture his eye. Renee had done all her research on him and for her the hard part was figuring out how she could be near him long enough to make an impression. She applied for the summer position at the local sheriffs' station as a receptionist.

Things got sticky when she started falling in love with his dark haired charm. 'And it didn't help that there was this strong appeal to a man on the force, carrying around a weapon' she would say. She knew that the feelings she harbored for him wouldn't be returned because all she was to him was the 'other women' not the one he 'loved', not the one he stood by in the end. When my mother found out she was going to have me she took it as a blessing and a burden but knew she couldn't stay in the small town of Forks any longer.

She had done the right thing and told him about their baby but had made it clear she was going to leave before the end of the month. Charlie didn't have much of a choice but to tell his wife of the news and his misshapen with Renee. Even though he didn't plan on raising me he did plan on helping out and being there when needed. His wife Diana had only one request that I never come stay in their home. In the end she was fine with it all she just didn't want to see my face and be reminded each time that her husband wasn't faithful after all they had been through and shared.

Renee was right, in less than a month she was all settled in a small apartment in Arkansas. Arkansas be came my home, it's were I was born and wear I grew up. Even now to this very day I have the Arkansas accent, it's a bit sassy and twangy some people say. Some even see it as a kind of Texas draw.

I was about 15 and half when my mom met and married Phil. He had seemed like a great guy at the time, funny and charming. He was 'that' kind of guy. He was very young and a businessman. Put that all together and it's the perfect guy for Renee, or at least the kind she was always into. But maybe _that_ was the problem. Maybe all the guys she wanted and described were the 'wrong guys'. It seemed that way too. Then again it could be due to the fact that he was young. _Or I'm making excuses, _I thought.

Phil was a businessman which meant he moved around a lot. Right after they were married we had to move to Phoenix, Arizona. Renee and Phil's marriage started going down hill from there, and fast. Phil started staying out late and it was no doubt infidelity was the cause. As for Renee she was hardly ever there. She used the money he was making to invest in many projects that would end in failure. Alcohol started being a coping source for Phil. One Friday night a friend was over helping me in math and Phil stumbled in drunker than I've ever seen him before. I stood up immediately and had assured my friend everything would be fine just to hurry and go. But before she could get away Phil had us both trapped. I knew that this night would affect the rest of my life, so I didn't fight it and I kept my eyes closed and silently prayed.

My mother came home the next day with Phil passed out and me unconscious. She called the policy. When I woke up was confused. Everything from the night before came rushing back to me and I realized my best friend was no where to be found. I had panicked and started to scream because there was a reason she wasn't here. She was gone. He killed her and I had survived. But I guess the guilt is my punishment. But why? I had asked myself.

After loads of therapy over a course of weeks I had realized it would always be there a part of me. Phil was charged for rape and murder as well as a lot of other things. While this all went down I tried getting back into school, but it was hard. The things people were saying were getting to me. I started going into a deeper depression and stopped running Track, stopped turning in work, and all together forgot about school. I had been in this deep trance for so long I didn't notice I had missed my period, to be honest I wasn't noticing much. But my mom was.

She had taken me to the doctors for a 'check up'. The doctor started asking me questions and that's when I realized it. Mom knew it, he knew and I knew it.

I was going to have a baby. This wasn't what I thought about growing up. This is far from any plans I had. But it turned out after a couple months when I went to find the sex of the baby that there was another in there that had been hiding. Twins. It was starting to become a nightmare, I swear.

When I finally went into labor I couldn't wait to have these babies out of me and hand them over to the nice couple willing to adopt from me. But after 13 whole agonizing hours in labor I couldn't turn my back on them. All it took was one look. I loved them. I knew what it felt like to love someone like a mom or cousin or a friend, but this was different it wasn't that 'family' love or that 'in love' love but that mother son bond. And there was to of them. All the more to love. It was heartbreaking to even think about letting them go. The Jenkins understood what I was going through and they were very cooperative when I decided to keep the twins.

Caden Payton Swan: born on April 17th at 11:48 P.M. in Phoenix Memorial Hospital

Colton Cooper Swan: born on April 18th at 12:04 A.M. in Phoenix Memorial Hospital

I had buckled up Caden and Colton in to the back seat before getting into the passenger side. My mom set off on the road and when I noticed we weren't heading home I asked why. She had explained that both she and the doctor had agreed that it would be best if I go stay with Grandma Swan. Who happened to stay a couple a blocks from a nice high school and in the other direction Charles stayed ten to fifteen minutes away from her.

It was a tearful good bye but even I knew it was for the best. As I settled down on the plane _that's_ when I started to 'question life'.

Was the affair between Charles and Renee meant to be or was it just the pregnancy? Did my mom always fall for the wrong guys on purpose or was it by chance? Was I meant to be at home with a friend when Phil decided to get drunk? Was it fate for Colton and Caden to be brought into this world? I never had been too religious. In fact I'm not sure I knew too much about God himself. But there were two things I did know 1.) I was going to change that and 2.) I may or may not answer any of these questions but I will find who I'm meant to be and what destiny has in store. I will find out who I am?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: First off I'd like to start by saying I'm not really into A/N's, especially long ones, so I'd just like to get straight to the point. In the summary for this story is said to see inside for the rest of the summary, but I for got to add it into the first chapter so I'm going to post it here:

Who I am is about a girl named Bella who struggles with finding out who she is while taking care of twin boys she never thought she'd have all because her mom had bad taste in men. Follow Bella as she discovers not all 'nice' guys are bad. That its okay to let go of the past and give in to the present and future.

I'd also like to say thank you BeautifulMidnighter and berryness for putting me on your alert list and if you've read my profile it basically says I don't really care for reviews unless your trying to let me know about mistakes or anything else that should be fixed in my stories, although reviews for fun are good too even if there one worded or something. As long as you add my stories to your alert list or fav. author or something that right there lets me know your actually reading what I have to offer.

The last thing I would like to say is does anyone think it would be a good idea to switch POVs every now and then, if not let me know other wise I'm going to keep thinking about this and the next chapter I post you'll see what I've decided.

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><p>As soon as we stepped off the plane I had to face the difficulties of assembling a twin stroller. After fifteen minutes had passed and I was still standing there looking stupid with two newborns and a suitcase, a guy came over to ask if he could help. It wasn't like I was going to turn the help down; in fact I was more than happy to allow him to help.<p>

The guy looked to be around my age. If I hadn't gotten a good look at his face I'd probably would have guessed older based on his height. He stood about at least 9 or 10 inches higher than me. Which was sad because I was barely 5'3. His hair was like a strange shade of bronze, kind of auburn, and with the casual disarray it was in I'd have figured he had sex hair. Then again he had just stepped off a plane and maybe he . . . Anyway, when he finally got done and turned around I was prepared to thank him but I got lost in his dark green eyes.

"Um, so you're welcome, I guess." He had awkwardly said.

It got more awkward when Colton started to practically scream. I bent down and picked up Colton. There was no doubt that he be a momma's boy. As I calmed him down thanked the guy in front of me.

"It was no problem. By the way my names, Edward. Your Isabella, right?" I was a bit surprised that he knew my name. It actually scared me. Being a mother made me view things differently and this, mother or not, would have put me on alert.

With more than enough suspiciousion laced in my voice I asked, "Yeah, how'd ya know?"

"Uh, well, I'm the guy that's supposed to pick you up and bring you back to Forks. Didn't your mom tell you?" He looked at me like I was dumb. Well, I'm not and I'm not about to get in any car, truck, jeep, or whatever with him.

"Yeah, look, I'm not so sure about this. So, I'm just going to call a taxi. But thanks anyway!" And just like that I grabbed the handle of the stroller with one hand and the suitcase with the other before steadily and swiftly walking away.

By the time I got out the double glass doors I found a taxi right out front. The taxi driver helped me get everything into the trunk. I buckled up the boys in the back seat before sitting down next to the driver. As soon as we started to get into traffic I saw Edward running out the front waving and yelling something along the lines of stop. While that was happening I just told the driver to step on it.

When I pulled up to the soft cream colored house with light blue shudders I knew this was the start of changing myself and my life. I took the boys out the back seat and paid the taxi driver and tipped him a fair amount. I walked opened up the white picket fence gate and walked up the small porch stairs to the front door. I knocked twice before the door opened up to my grandmother.

"Oh, sweetheart, you're here!" She pulled me into a great big hug. She smelt of peppermints, a sent I didn't know I missed.

My grandmother is my grandma on my dad's side. Her name is Ellen Swan and she had these laugh lines that proved she had and still was enjoying life to the fullest. Her hair was a fading brown with more gray than the natural color it's self. She and I were the same height. Most who saw us together said I was the spitting image of her. At least that's the way it was a few years back when her hair was just as long as mine and even the same rich chocolaty look to it. We both had this blush that we both hated. Growing up I had always called her Ellie because she felt she was too young to be a grandma even though I was Charlie's fifth child, she insisted on the name. And it stuck.

Ellie used to come visit me every Christmas in Arkansas and she spoiled me with presents. Ellie had explained to my mother how she felt about what she had done to her son's family. Ellie has always had a sore spot for what had happened. I'm pretty sure it has to do with her morals, pride, and Christianity. In all I think she is a bit bitter towards Charlie and thinks she deserves an apology. But if Charlie were to serve out any apology it should be towards me. I'll get into the why some other time.

After I settled in some, Ellie showed me around. There was a master bedroom and bath connected then there was the kitchen/dining area followed by the living room were the front door was. Off to the back side of the living room was a small hallway with a small bath followed by two separate bed rooms of medium size. My room was the farthest back and it had already been set up with a bedroom set. There was a king size bed with dark cherry oak wood for the head board and matching side table and dresser.

I checked out the boy's room which had already been set up with everything a baby would need. When I asked about it Ellie had said that she had mentioned me and my situation to her church and the sisters of the organization had agreed to donate all this stuff. After pondering for a moment she had apologized because she had said it wasn't nice of her to throw my business out there like that, but I had assured her it was okay. I was more than happy there were people out there willing to help a stranger out like that.

Ellie mentioned someone named Esme wanting to provide child care services. She had talked about Esme and her husband Carlisle as if they were family. And to Ellie, _they practically were_, she said. Both she and Esme grew up together with someone by the name of Elizabeth, I could tell by the way Ellie said Elizabeth's name that there was some emotion behind it. Good or bad, I wouldn't know, but I knew my grandmother she let you know how she felt when she felt she was ready for you to know.

Today went by very fast and there was a lot emotion and confusion behind it and honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. This may have not been _my_ plan but it was _His_ plan and in the end, that's the one everybody goes by. God wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle, _right_?

"So, did Edward drop you off or was it Emmett?" At first I was confused by the question but when I thought back to earlier, I remember the green-eyed guy's name was Edward. Well, damn. If someone would have told me that they were sending a ride I would have took it graciously. Unfortunately, I left that poor guy in the dust because I was so freaked out.

"Naww, I'm real sorry, Ellie, but if I had known that Edward was coming to pick me up then I would accepted his offer. I mean he seemed like I nice guy, but with every thing that's happen 'nice' ain't gone cut it. Also, the mommy in me felt it was best if we took the taxi service that was provided by the airport. Really, I'm sorry, next time I seem him I'll let him know."

"Oh, pish posh, child," Ellie said with half amusement, "That boy'll be fine. But it would be nice to thank him and apologize for the way you acted. Then again I should have called Renee and had her relay the message to you. Just don't dwell on it, okay?"

"Sure." I replied

I told Ellie I'd be in the boys' room getting them settled for the night and unpacking the crap load of clothes my mom had decided to send with me. Apparently babies needed more clothes than I did . . . . _in my entire life_! From shirts, shorts, and pants, to bibs and blankets.

Once I finally got the twins to lie down and out everything in its place in both their room and mine, I felt way to tired to take a shower so I crashed on the lavender colored bed spread and decided I'll do it tomorrow with the shit load of other crap to do.

*******Who I Am*******

After a sleepless night from waking up to feed the boys I officially woke up around iat the ungodly hour of 7 in morning. I got out of bed and grabbed a towel. The twins made it clear that from now on when I shower its because I have to which meant I didn't get the usual almost luxury half or an hour type shower, I got the barely fifteen minute shower that barely ran long enough to really get the hot water going.

I finished what ever you wanted to call it, but I refused to view as a shower, I put on black yoga pants with this little pink flowerily design on the front of my left thigh with a pink t-shirt and this thin yoga jacket that matched the pants. I went back into the bathroom to brush my teeth and comb through my long mahogany hair. When it was completely combed through I decided to keep it down, it actually didn't look to bad with its natural shine and light wave to it. I put mascara and lip gloss on then headed to the boys' room to wake them up and get them ready. I found two onesies, one said 'copy' and the other said 'paste' I thought that was super cute so that's what I dressed them in that with gray cotton pants and white socks.

Right before I headed out the door I fed Colton and Caden and as for myself I just grabbed a couple of pieces of toast. When we were all done with breakfast I snapped the little ankle bracelets that read there name on it . Since, the twins were identical twins they needed ways on identification and the doctor suggested this method.

I slipped on my gray converses pushed my backpack onto my shoulders then grabbed Colton and Caden, and started walking to the 2010 dark blue sedan my grandmother owns but never really drives. I buckled them up into their car seats and quickly remembered that I forgot their diaper bags. _Ughh_, at this rate I'll never make it to school on time.

Once everything was settled I headed towards the local high school. When I finally pulled up into the parking lot, I took a good look around. _WTF_ am I doing, I thought. Look at all these slutty bimbos, jocks, cheerleaders, and every other kid in between. This may be a small town but that didn't mean high school was gonna be any different. It would still have all the judgmental, stereotypical people. _And I?_ I was Bella the girl whose hick of a mama came to the little town ofForksto seduce the local, well- respected sheriff. I knew I was the talk of the town, _shit_, I was the biggest, _maybe not the ideal_, but the biggest well known and talked about person in town. It was a story that everyone knew and frequently talked about.

But what happens when I step out this car, _huh_? What happens when people see I have a baby, scratch that, _two_ babies? This is gonna be hell, I know it. But if there gonna talk might as well make sure there is plenty for them to talk about. I'm a very quite, shy reserved person and I usually tend to stick to myself and never really become a part of the school in order for people to not recognize me. But this year is going to be different. Whether it's good or bad I wouldn't know, _yet_, but I'ma find out sooner or later, _right_?

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><p><strong>AN**: Would anyone like for me to read some of there stories or advertise some at the end of each chapter? If so just PM or say so in a review:) Have a blessed day.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: There is one comment made by Esme to Edward about is lanuage an she does compare is to someone who is from London, so in advance I apologize if I offend anyone.

There is a mention of Smarties, which is candy and I have found out that a lot of kids like turning it in topowder and either blowing it out the plastic, inhaling, or snorting it. I found that out through my through one of my friend's kids. Haha

Lastly, I'd just like to say thanks to all who added me to there alerts or fav. lists and to those who review it all means alot to me.

I hope this lives up to your standards for Edwards POV I'd just want to make clear this would have happened with or without his POV. Basically to some up Edward he's a selfish asshole most of the time. He does have a resaon behind it. as the story progresses he'll come to terms with everything and eventually open up.

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><p>Edward POV<p>

I woke up to a huge pounding in my head. Usually this would be due to either Emmett banging on his drums or a huge hangover from the party before. Unfortunately for me it was the latter and in this case, buying it away wasn't going to work. Knowing me, I'd deal, because with in the next couple hours I'd probably go to a friends house and get high as fuck anyway. That would _definitely_ help, I thought. Although it would probably be nice to get wasted too but it was a Sunday which meant my curfew was in effect since it would be a school night and all. Then again you can't buy booze on a Sunday. I really do hate Emmett when he's beating on his drums but at this point I really do wish it was just the drums.

While I waited on the hot water to get good and ready I thought back to last night. All I even remember was Tanya sitting in my lap then her asking for a few shots. After watching her get drunk off of about three or four shots, sad but true, we walked up stairs. I honestly don't remember what happened after that, but if I knew Tanya and myself, _drunk or not_, we would have fucked. _Man_, the that sounds pretty bad the way I worded it but, _come on_, I'm seventeen and I liked to 'get around' if you know what I mean.

As I was drying off my Aunt Esme decided to barge in. "Oh, my fucking God, Esme! Knock, will ya?"

She just laughed, of course I was happy to provide entertainment, "Oh, hush, Edward, ain't nothing ain't seen before," Then she scowled and her face became very serious, all traces of laughter completely gone, "I thought both your mother and I taught you some manners, Edward. First off if you locked your door things like this wouldn't happen and second I don't want to hear another foul word come out of your mouth again. You'd think you would have grown up in London or something with a mouth like yours."

It was weird how Esme could get me to feel like a little boy again. To feel like I had been caught stilling a cookie out the cookie jar, and I remember that feeling, I hated it. _But this_? It felt worse, to know I disappointed her over and over again. I couldn't even get the simple clean filtered language right. I mean there were reasons to why I do the things I do. Why I act the way I do. But even so I need to learn to forgive and until I do I'm going to be stuck in this vicious cycle.

"I'm sorry, Esme. Uh, what did you need anyway?" I could tell Esme wasn't hearing my apology and for what it is worth I don't blame her, I wouldn't either.

"I need you to go to the airport and pick up Ellen's granddaughter, Isabella, and her great grandchildren Colton and Caden. When you spot her tell her that her grandmother Ellie sent you. I'm pretty sure her mother would have told her you're coming to pick them up."

"_Ughh_, come on, I have plans. What about Emmett can't he do it?" I whined like a ten year old, only thinking about the benefit if I didn't have to go. Weed! _And lots of it_. Yet isn't it ironic that a ten year old wouldn't be smoking weed or any substance excepts for Smarties. Ha-ha good times, me and those Smarties.

"No Emmett who actually takes the time to talk to me already told me about how he is going to meet Rosalie's parents this afternoon."

"Okay, What about, Alice?"

"No! I'm asking _you,_ Edward Cullen, to do me the favor of getting off your _ass_ for a change and do something that would benefit others rather than yourself." With that she slammed the door loudly in my face. All I could think was how rude it was for her to slam that door in my face. Yeah, this is me Edward Cullen, and I'm a complete asshole, totally selfish and very childish. I need to grow the fuck up. In the back of my mind I thought, and possibly work on your language.

I grumbled and snickered the whole way to the airport. I didn't want to pick up some old woman and her kids. Infact I didn't want to live with Esme and Carlisle, because I didn't like depending on people. I didn't want to live in Forks. And I sure as hell didn't want to be alive half the time.

That right there caused me to swerve off the road and come to a complete stop.

Was I for real? Did I not want to live? Was I thinking about suicide? Was I going to become a spitting image of Elizabeth? Elizabeth, my mother who I could barely even call a mother, much less say aloud the word 'mom' when referring to her. Honestly, that's the last thing I wanted. I knew right then and there I had to change, I had to stop disappointing everyone, I had to grow up, get a pair so to speak and consider the image I was portraying. Was it good or bad? Bad, _very_ bad. At this point I was willing to give just about anything to be able to truly say I loved life, that I wasn't think about ending my life.

I got back on the road and cursed at myself. How dare I even let the pain crawl back in? The pain Elizabeth caused. How dare I hate her so much but continue to love her. Life sucked and I knew but that doesn't mean you give up.

I tried pushing back all the thoughts of Elizabeth and death out of my mind as I search for Isabella and her twins. It wasn't too hard either. I just had to look for the woman clumsily trying to put together a stroller. I walked right up to her and asked if I could help. As I was putting together this contraption she called a stroller I thought back to the woman behind me. _Woman_. No, that didn't fit to right. She looked about my age, definitely still in high school. But what the hell was she doing with _twins_?

I finished working on the stroller and turned to here an apology. Conceited, I know. But still this chick was just staring at me, I mean I know I'm hot but don't stare, 'cause I get enough of that from both girls _and_ guys. I guess I'm going to have to start this conversation.

"Um, so you're welcome, I guess." I didn't think I sounded too bad but it kind of felt like I was asking a question rather than actually saying 'you're welcome'.

Immediately things got a bit weird when one of the babies started crying. I just can't get over that. _Babies_. How can this cute girl be a mother to not one baby but _two_? And if these are her kids then does that mean she puts out? I was thinking about all this when I could have been looking at her nice ass while she bent down to take of care of the screaming kid.

She turned around and looked so happy to be holding her kid, and then she looked up at me and blushed. _Blushed_! I swear I might be addicted to it now. It was the sexiest thing ever. I might use my persuasive skills sometime and have her do it while she's riding me. Slow down, I thought, let's get her home first.

I got so caught up in my thoughts I missed the rest of the blushing followed by a stuttered 'thank you'.

"It was no problem. By the way my names, Edward. Your Isabella, right?" She seemed a bit shocked and taken a back by my knowledge of her name. I wonder if her mom even told her that someone was coming to pick her up.

She seemed real suspicious when she said, "Yeah, how'd ya know?" When she talked she had this accent. Real country, too. _Country_! No it's an Arkansas accent. As in I'm talking to _The Isabella Swan_. Holy fuck if she was anything like her mom then I knew there'd be no problem getting her into bed.

Okay I'm just going to act cool, calm, and collected, like I don't know who she is. So she doesn't notice I'm only after one thing. "Uh, well, I'm the guy that's supposed to pick you up and bring you back to Forks. Didn't your mom tell you?"

"Yeah, look, I'm not so sure about this. So, I'm just going to call a taxi. But thanks anyway!" With that she started to basically sprint towards the double glass doors. What the fuck!

I didn't have time to think I just started running after her the whole way yelling stop. When I reached the exit she was already in a taxi and buckling her seat belt. I saw her glance at me then turned to look at the driver and point towards the road. Seriously I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not some serial killer.

While dialing Esme's number and trying to get onto the highway I couldn't help but think what it is that I did that offended her so much. Esme finally picked up before I had at least one good scenario as to what had just occurred.

"Yes, dear?"

"Um, I'm not sure what exactly happened but somehow Isabella didn't agree with letting me drop her off," I explained.

"Edward! Seriously can't you do anything right with out offending the female population?" She was mad and breathing hard, " Look I'd appreciate your respect every now and then and _especially_ when my dear friend is involved. Do you know how this makes me look? I've been friends with Ellen for years, ever since I was a little girl and all you can do is try being a bit courteous to both her and her family," Esme took in a deep breathe before continuing, "Edward could you just not come home for awhile? Just let me cool off, okay? Then your welcome back around dinner, lets say 8:15? I think a late dinner would be nice because Carlisle won't be home until around that time, anyhow. Okay?"

I gritted my teeth to keep from yelling at her. "Yeah, sure. I'll be home then." I hit the end button only to have to hit the answer button.

It was my friend James and he was asking if I'd like to come over and get high. At this point that all I was thinking about. Getting high and forgetting any of this shit happened. To . . . . to just get _lost_. That's exactly how I felt.

*******Who I Am*******

When I woke up I still felt pretty high. Hell, even if I wasn't I sure as heck would come to that exact conclusion. I mean you wake up on a thin mattress that seems to be coming out the wall, a toilet to your left that looks the exact opposite from new and fresh and smells even worse, then there is the metal bars going horizontal from wall to wall. The room or should I say _cell_, isn't to big when you count only ten to fifteen bars.

I could just hear Esme fuming now. Wait, is she here? I looked around. Nope, no sign of her. I shouted out for someone to come get me out of this shithole. Few seconds later Chief Swan came around the corner with a cup of Starbucks. I hoped that was for me, but come on, I was the 'screw up' in this situation.

"So, son. You're in a bit of trouble aren't you?" I knew what he was trying to do. He was going to fool me, _hell_, he didn't even scare his own kids. I knew cause I used to fuck Jessica and everyone knew how he gave his kids the 'talk' and even threatened there dates like a ritual. But no he didn't faze me at all.

"Yeah, I ain't trying to hear anything from you. I just want my phone call." I know he is a cop and all but really, how much more trouble could I get in.

He grumbled but handed me a phone. _Heck_, I'd probably get grumpy too if this place was like a ghost town and the only action you got was hauling in a teenager for smoking pot. I dialed Esme's number, as soon as she picked up the phone I could hear the relief in her voice. She started firing out questions and when she got the answers she wasn't happy at all. After the conversation ended. I waited for what felt like ever in that tiny ass cell. Maybe I'm going claustrophobic. Is that possible? Can you go claustrophobic?

Doesn't matter 'cause there was Esme now. I knew she was mad But she didn't look it. "Edward, your in a lot of trouble."

"I knows o how many weeks am I grounded?"

"Oh, young man there will be no weeks. Carlisle and I have decided your car is to be sold-"

I jumped up at that, "_What_? You have got to be kidding me."

Esme stepped forward toward the bars, " Oh, I'm not kidding. Now, hush and listen, listen well because I won't repeat myself. You car will be sold. You will have to ride the bus because with the kind of friends you have I doubt they'd be willing to pick you up and drop you off from school. Starting this Saturday coming up you'll be mowing both our front and back yard along with Ellen's front and back yard. When things need mending around the our house or Ellen's you will be happy to help, won't you? Lastly, you'll attend counseling twice a week. None, and I repeat none of this will be changed or modified until further notice. Oh, and one last thing, if you want you can get a job. I wouldn't be to hasty about saying no because staying in your room for the next couple of months, _possibly a year_, won't be as enjoyable as getting _high_." Esme continued to look at me, " _Are we clear_?"

I had no other choice but to say yes. To be honest I didn't trust myself to let any other words come out of my mouth other than yes.

Esme took me home to shower and change clothes only to tell me I still had to go to school and that she wasn't happy with how late I was for classes. When I finally showed up for school it was a little past ten, which meant I'd be walking in to French class. Ms. Lefèvre has always been sweet on me so maybe walking in into the middle of her class won't be to bothersome. At least I can only hope.

I open the door and spot Ms. Lefèvre at the front of the class room, "Je suis désolé d'être en retard,Madame. Lefèvre. J'espère que vous pourrez me pardonner." Then I flashed my smile.

I swear I can even make French women swoon. "Oh, M. Cullen, pas de soucis du tout l'air., J'ai créé un arrangment de nouveaux sièges, alors pourquoi ne pas simplement prendre un siège à côté de Isabella dans le coin, d'accord?"

When I finally understood what she was saying I looked around and found Isabella, the chick that I was supposed to pick up yesterday sitting in the corner. Well, _fuck_, life just gets better and better, doesn't it ?

* * *

><p>Edward to the teacher "I'm sorry for being late, Mrs. Lefèvre. I hope you can forgive me."<p>

The teacher's response"Oh, Mr. Cullen, no worries at all. Look, I've created a new seating arrangment so why don't you just take a seat next to Isabella in the corner, okay?"


	4. Chapter 4

After getting out of the car, the cool air hit my face for a refreshing moment. It actually calmed my nerves a little, but not enough. _Nowhere near enough_. It took me a second to figure out how to carry my backpack, a diaper bag, and the twins. A few minutes passed and I finally got everything under control. I looked around for the front office but didn't miss the fact everyone was giving me a look.

Once entering the office I saw a small disorderly desk with a plaque that read '_**Mrs. Cope the**_ **administrator**', which from the looks of it she must have been very low on staff, like perhaps just herself. I waited patiently until a short plump woman with rich dark hair in an elegant twist, neared the front desk. She didn't look young, but she didn't look old. _Maybe_, she aged gracefully.

"Uh, hi, I'm Bella Swan the new student." I informed her.

"Aw, yes, I have your class schedule here all you'll need to do is have every single teacher sign it and bring it back at the end off the day. Okay?" I nodded and then she continued, "I see that you'll be needing childcare services that are provided, yes? Mrs. Cullen was kind enough to set up a free nursery and donate her time and help for those who happen to have children at an early age. When your done here you can drop them off right around the corner. Mrs. Cullen will inform you on anything else you may need to know about the facility or signing of medical papers and such." I was a bit saddened when she stopped talking, because all her words rolled together on the tip of her tongue. Her Spanish accent was breath taking. I'm not to sure why, but I've always loved foreign languages.

I thanked her and began to walk around the corner as she had instructed but she called out my name and I turned back to facing her.

"Yes?"

"What part of Arkansas are you from?" My eyebrows immediately shot up in confusion. It wasn't often that someone would ask a question like that. But it warmed my heart when someone noticed.

"Ashdown, Arkansas. You know right up there in the edges ofTexasandLouisiana?" I wasn't sure why I was asking a question as if she knew. It wasn't like she'd be familiar with the area.

"Oh, I can't believe that's so. How exciting, someone my boy Jazz, my sweet daughter Rosie cakes and I can relate to. We've all been missingTexasdearly. Poor Jazz feels as though he's forgettin' were he comes from. I'm sure the two of you would get along just fine!" She sounded as if she might piss her pants. Although, it was nice to know that I wasn't the only one with the accent or strange doings around here. It comforted me a lot, but I had to make up an excuse to get going because over bubbly, excited behavior wasn't something I liked getting into.

I slowly walked into the nursery, or should I say huge play room. It had cribs off in one corner and toys in another. There was a cluster off tables off to one side and a huge ABC carpet in the center of the room. It all reminded me of preschool. I missed being carefree and worry free. Those two used to be pretty good feeling but responsibility was nice too in a way. I liked that sense of maturity.

Mrs. Cullen came out of a small closet off in the back of the room and looked as if she should be on a runway or doing business not taking care of crying babies whose hobby was spitting up ."Hi, dear, you must be Isabella, correct?" Her voice could have been what every teenage boy fantasized when they pictured a woman whispering in their ear.

"Yea, I am, but go by Bella, though. Mrs. Cope said that I needed to talk to you about paper work and other things."

"Oh, no. Don't worry your grandmother Ellen already took care of most of it. All I need you two do is sign off on a few things later today when you come to pick up . . . ." She trailed off in concentration.

I went ahead and took the liberty of providing their names for the sake of time, "Um, Colton and Caden."

"Yes! Colton and Caden."

After kissing the tops of my boys' heads I finally walked out the nursery and started looking at my schedule.

Advanced Literature - Mrs. Hill

Calculus - Mr. LeRoy

History - Mr. Sanford

Advanced Biology - Mr. Greene

Advanced French - Ms. Lefèvre

Lunch Break

Free Period

Honor Band - Mr. Mendez

P.E. - Coach Clapp

As soon as I was finished glancing over everything the bell rang. _Or it didn't_, I guess. Music overhead started playing for a few seconds then people started shuffling in and starting towards their respective classes. Who the hell played music instead of just the bell?

I started towards wing D and looked for room 104 for my first class. I walked in and noticed everyone had already picked out their seats and there was one in the back off to the corner. I was happy sat off by myself because then I couldn't be stared at the whole time. I slowly walked to the back only receiving minimal stairs and comments as I passed. I got to the back and sat down then pulled out my note book and a pen.

An older woman saw me and walked towards me after hushing the class.

"Are you the new student?' She asked in a hushed tone.

I nodded my head in response.

"Well, come up to the front of the class and introduce yourself please."

"Uh, hi, my name is Isabella but I mostly go by Bella. I'm fromArkansasbut just moved here fromArizona." But this old woman clearly wasn't taking this short answer for an answer. She asked a few short questions which were replied with a short, clipped tone. I finally gave up and chose to answer her most resent question.

Persistently Mrs. Hill asked, "What's important to you in life at the moment?"

To be honest I wasn't completely sure she was asking out of curiosity. Or should I verify, as in pure, unhidden agenda, curiosity. It was more like she was asking to confirm something, like rumors or suspicions. Who was I to deny her anything? I mean I might as well right? Considering this is a small town and anybody is bound to find out. Not that I was hiding anything because I was most definitely not hiding anything what so ever.

"The most important thing, or people I should say, in life at this moment are Colton and Caden, my twin boys." After saying this I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

She had aloud me to take a seat back at my desk. As I passed her on the way to the face I couldn't help trying to figure out the look on her face. There were a lot of emotions and different types of facial expressions. I finally nailed it down to two, one I didn't recognize and the other 'disgusted'. I didn't understand it at all but I tried. I tried over the remaining time left in this class and the next three classes as well but I just couldn't grasp the situation properly.

Even though I dwelled on it for so long in the back of my head I knew the answer. But every time I aloud it to take control of my thoughts I'd scream at myself and remind myself that this wasn't a choice. This wasn't from my own selfish desires. If anything I was selfish in wanting to keep the babies that were created from evil. I was selfless in keeping lives that deserved to have seen the world, or like in most cases wouldn't have seen the world at all.

I continued to dwell on this when I entered my advanced French class. I took a seat and waved to few people who had introduced to me earlier then tried to focus on the topic at hand. I was concentrating so hard, _at least I thought I was_, but my head snapped up so quick at the mention of Cullen coming from the teacher's mouth.

Looking up I saw Edward Cullen, he who had invaded snippets of my dreams the night before.

Unfortunately, the real Edward standing before the class wasn't happy at all to see me. Somewhere with in my chest I felt a few sharp pains. For what, I wouldn't know.

*******Who I Am*******

During lunch I realized I had forgot to have Mr. Greene sign my schedule sheet. So I rushed back toward his building only after turning the corner so fast I lost balance and fell straight on my ass. Some guy I remembered from second period had helped me up. "Hey, the names Mike Newton." He tried sounding sexy. But the only sexy thing about him was his last name. And that is only when referred to as theNewtoncookies. Such a shame.

"Yeah, well, I gotta go, see you around." Not.

*******Who I Am*******

By the time I got back to the cafeteria lunch was almost over. I decided to grab and apple and a bottle of water. I noticed there's a double door exit in the back of the cafeteria so I walk towards it. Once I step outside there's a small courtyard and few people hanging around.

Someone with short spiky hair started walking towards me. Don't get me wrong 'cause I'm not gay or nothing but she's kind of cute. Behind her there was some guy with dirty blonde hair covering most of his face and to his right their was a girl with the same tint hair and clothes that measured up to the Kardashian's but were clearly worn better.

"Hey, my names Alice. This is my boyfriend Jasper and his sister Rosalie or Rose for short. I just came over to introduce myself because I just know you and I are going to be the best of friends." For the most part I think I heard that all correctly despite the fact she talks a mile a minute. On the other hand I know for certain that I've heard the name Jasper sometime today.

"Is that so?" I tried sounding casual but I think it came out as sarcasm. Not that I was trying to be rude although it was her came and got all up in my cookie dough. Um, do people still say cookie dough? The better question is: did they ever? Ugh, I feel old.

I stood up from the cold concrete that I was sitting on against the building, "Look, Alice is it? I don't mean to be rude it's just you're a little to up in my comfort zone then I like. Besides it's a bit creepy to assume that I'd be your BFFL after a less than five minute conversation. So if you don't mine I think I'll split, okay?"

Her face faltered a bit and I could tell she was trying to think of some type of way for me to agree. As soon as she went to speak Rosa or Rosanne or something stepped in front of her. " Listen, Isabella, Alli has it in her head you'd be great friends. So, what's it going to hurt if you hang a couple times out of the week? I mean her mom and your grandmother are friends so it's not like she's some weird stranger."

Guess that was a dilemma. Considering my grandmother has lost so much and all she had are her friends, and the family she hasn't pushed away yet, to be there for her. So who was I to deny her? After all I'd already invaded her space, not just me but my boys too.

After contemplating it, I made my decision, "Alright, I guess."

I swear her face lit up like a Christmas tree and I was happy to make her happy. That is until I heard this come out her mouth, "Yes! So you'll come over to my sleepover? You, Rose, Jessica, Lauren, Tanya and her two sisters, Irina and Kate are all being invited. You should brin-"

"No, I'm not."

"Wait, what do you mean 'you're not'?"

"Alice, I've something to do all weekend. Sorry."

"What do you mean you have something to do all weekend? You been here less than forty-eight hours and you have something to do? All weekend? I'm just not buying it, so cut the crap," And that was the first time I saw the feisty little attitude come out in Alice. I looked her up and down as she had her hands cross over her almost non-existent chest. "What could be more important than my sleepover?"

This was starting to unnerve me a little bit, "Caden andColton, my twin boys. A hell of a lot more important than you," I pointed at her then her long haired sidekick, "or you, Laurie, Jessica or my sisters." With that my back was turned and my legs carrying me somewhere away from the drama squad I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed. I tried, I did. But I can only take so much of all-up-in-my-face-bossy people at once.

*******Who I Am*******

I wondered the halls most of my free period, because I didn't have anything to do. Or at least I didn't know what was available in this shit can town to do. The other part of my hour long break was spent on checking in on the was now changed out of his shirt that had said 'paste' on the front to a dark blue onesie because he had spit up all over his shirt. I couldn't help but take lots of pictures and post them on my Facebook.

When the bell rang for my next class I was really reluctant to leave them but I knew I couldn't be late for class and besides it was my first day. I got across campus just in time for the warning bell to ring as I entered the music room. I searched for the teacher whose name, according to my schedule sheet, was Mr. Mendez. Naturally, I looked for someone with Spanish features considering his last name sounded as such.

"Are you lost, Bella?" Who ever had said my name said it with such grace. It fit perfectly on their lips. Much to my surprise it was Edward. Again. Either I was head over heels in love or I had a deep craving for this sex god. 'Cause that's exactly what he was, a sex god.

"Nope, you?" Duh, he's not lost you idiot! He goes to this school.

He laughed. A musical dreamy laugh escaped his throat, "No, Bella, I play the piano." Yep, it had to be lust, because as soon as he said that my eyes glanced to his fingers. _Long, nimble, that probably moved so_-

"Excuse me, are you our new student?" An older guy from behind me asked.

I turned around slowly as if I'd been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. I nodded my head while trying to regain my voice.

"And you play?"

"The violin." He nodded his head and seemed to be pondering something.

"You have been placed in honors band, correct?" I wasn't sure whether that was a question he wanted me to answer or if it was said just for him in confirming to himself, "Which means you are good, no? Well, I hope so because I won't work with you to get to were out astounding band have reached. I just don't have that kind of time." If I haven't mention this yet let me clarify that Mr. Mendez will no doubt be a hard ass.

"Yes, sir?" It came out as a question although I swear I didn't mean it that way. He gave me a look and I straightened up. Fuck, this dude is scary.

"Um, sir, Mr. Mendez, um, I'm going to need to borrow my instrument from the school."

He nodded his head and agreed to order one from the band house inPort Angeles. Other than that, that was all that had happened in band. I do admit that they played great music. I really liked the fact most of it was modern, like music from Adele or that one song called 21 guns. Over all I was extremely impressed, I just hoped tomorrow when I'd be an actual player of the band that I wouldn't make a huge ass out of myself.

Band flew by pretty quick and I can tell you that I was both excited and extremely nervous for gym. You have to understand that I'm a very clumsy person. _Hell_, I can find something trip over on a flat clear surface. If there's trouble with in a five mile radius I'll undoubtedly find it for sure. But when I play the violin I'm on this whole other universe. Same goes for when I run. I can run and run and feel so alive and free. It's almost as if I have no problems. No worries. Or responsibility. _That feeling can become a drug, it's my personal drug, like liquor was Phil's_, I sadly thought.

I walked into gym and looked around. It was big and open, but you could tell despite the cleanliness that it was very old. The school it self was old. And underfunded a bit. Or a lot. I spotted the Coach over near the end of the bleachers.

"Coach Clapp, I have a question?" When he didn't look up from his clip board I continued, "Has there already been track tryouts for the year? If so, is it possible for me to prove to you I deserve a spot on the team?"

Coach Clapp immediately stopped what he was doing and looked up at me, "Well, here, at Forks High we don't have a track team for girls because their to busy with the cheer team and what not. We did how ever have track tryouts two weeks ago and it so happens that we have a spot left on the team. With the way rules are set up it basically states that if there isn't a team for girls then they are welcome to join the boy's team and vise versa. So, what I'm getting at is your welcome to tryout privately afterschool?"

I started jumping up and down, I was so happy and completely ecstatic, and it was like a rush.

"Thank you so much! But is it possible if I could tryout tomorrow?"

"No, sorry, I've got stuff planned for the next couple of days. I could possibly do it on Friday but you're going to have to give me good reason why it can't be done today."

_Is everyone in this town, nosy fuckers?_

"I have twins to take care of, Coach."

"Okay, then you have yourself a tryout Friday afternoon . . . ."

"Bella."

"Bella," He repeated.

The rest of the day went be smoothly. All in all I think the first day at Forks high wasn't so bad. There were a few stares here and there but I'd live. I hope.

A/N: Hope everyone is having or has had a happy Easter. If you don't celebrate Easter then Happy Holidays to you: )

This chapter was a bit longer but well worth the time. I hope every one enjoyed. Review and/or alert please and thank you.

P.S. I've come to realize, like most authors, I need a deadline or a due date. I'm okay with posting every week so if you guys have any suggestions on a specific day that might work best for you then maybe there is someone else with the same date, so therefore it can work best with the majority of my readers. If that makes any sense then let me know, if not then ask me and I'll try to break it down to you.


	5. Chapter 5

A couple of days passed by with out any hitches, and for that I was desperately thankful. But in all honesty I did wish I had some friends, anybody, to talk to besides the twins. Of course I loved the boys but it just wasn't the same talkin' to someone in your own age range time to time. Today's events weren't, or at least shouldn't, go any different but who know? Just about half the day went by before anything in my down pat routine took curve. It wasn't necessarily bad. It was just what it was, that's all.

My French teacher pulled me aside today to ask if I would tutor a student who needed my help. She said by doing this I could get paid a little by the school funding administrators and that it would look good on a college application. At this point I don't even know whether or not I'm actually attending college but at least this will give me some social interaction. Come to find out it was Edward who needed the tutoring. Not to point out the obvious but he definitely didn't need any tutoring whatsoever. So why did he sign up for it?

In the cafeteria I sat off to the corner all by myself. How ever today someone joined me. This kid looked about my age and seemed to be mixed. He wore tight jeans and a pink polo T with what some might call "fresh" rebox. I personally wasn't that big on appearance and fashion so I didn't know shit about the statement he was trying to portray.

"So, what you doing sitting at my table, doll?" As soon as the words came out his mouth I realized he was gay. Gay! Internally I laughed but it wasn't like I had a problem with it. No, not at all.

"Your table?" I questioned.

"Yeah, sweet cakes, my table. Sorry I haven't been here lately. I've been sick for a few days." Well, I'm not saying that I'm an export or anything but I can tell that he is lying. Big time!

"What's with the front?' I boldly asked.

"Front?"

"Yea, you weren't really sick were you?"

There was a great pass filled with thoughtful silence before he responded. "No, guess not."

"And what's your life story?"

"I dunno, depends, what's with the accent?" I was beginning to like him. To bad he's gay.

"The names Bella and I just moved up here from Arkansas."

"My names Nick Housely, half brother to Tyler Crowley." He laughed bitterly then added, "And you're a curious little shit, doll face."

"Yea, I know." I said with a smirk.

Basically Nick and I were becoming closer over lunch and class. I found I share three classes with him which was a relief. How many people did you know that said they couldn't wait to hang with their gay best friend? Me personally, not a lot. By the end of lunch I found out a lot about Nick and his troubles but I could tell he was holding some back. And for me, that was fine because everybody had their secrets and past lives. For now I kept the fact I had twins a secret because I was terrified he'd judged me just like everyone else had.

I was bouncing with anticipation when the final bell rang for the end of school. Today was the day I had to try out for TRACK. Coach had basically said he'd put me in with the rest of the guys and see how well I did and basically he'd judge me by comparison to the others. I ran towards the girl's locker room off to the side of the gym and changed quickly. As soon as I stepped out of the locker room I was met faced to face with Alice and Rosalie. Their expressions mirrored each other. What was being displayed, I didn't have a clue.

"Hey." Alice said softly.

"Sup?" I was met with silence that I didn't have time to wait out. So I prompted them into a faster "dramatic pause".

"Uh, yeah, we just wanted to apologies about the other day. We didn't have a clue about your . . . situation and were sorry for everything." As I looked into Alice's eyes I could tell she meant it.

On the other hand Rose rolled her eyes so fast and hard they almost seemed unmoved, "Yeah, Yeah, blah, blah, blah, anyhooo, she wants to reinvite you and extend the invitation to the twin . . . boys is it?"

"Yea, Colton and Caden. Oh, and Alice that means a lot to me that your willing to do that for me. Why don't I think about it and if I'm for it after TRACK tryouts, will join you at your sleep over thing?"

Alice's face lit up while Rose's went unfazed and unmasked, "Yes! That's perfect. Will come by around four-ish. That's when TRACK's usually through." I jogged my way down the side walk and towards the TRACK field.

I was greeted with a dozen different set of stairs and awkward silence. "What are you doing here?" A velvety voice asked from the side of me.

I turned slowly towards Edward and gave him a smart remark. "Cheerin' you boy's on all by myself so I can personally see Forks high greatest sweat in the nonexistent sun." I was both anxious and sad to finish up TRACK tryouts. Coach Clapp asked me to shower and dress back into my normal attire before he let me know his final decision.

When I stepped out I found him waiting for me. "So, how did I do?"

A smile lit his face, "You did good Bella, but there some things I'll need to fill you in on. First and for most you have a kid. Correction, _kids_. I'm not saying that it will be impossible but if you want to be on this team I can't and won't treat you any different whether you're a girl or you're a mom. _However_ you decide to work your priorities out and responsibilities that's on you but on my part there is no leeway."

"Yes, sir, I understand."

"Secondly, _our school_, any school, doesn't permit bullying, but I won't always be around to enforce that rule so you will take some heat because as you could see from today there will be plenty of people who disagree with your gender and this team as a whole."

"No, offense, Coach, but I think I'm a big girl." I outwardly laughed at my own joke.

Surprisingly he found a tiny bit of humor in that, "Then you won't have too much trouble with me saying that most schools normally won't accommodate the opposite gender for a school function designed for well the official gender. So, there will be some times where you end up dressing out in front of the guys."

I wasn't happy with that last statement but I wanted to be on the team. So I sucked it up and told him to count me in. "Oh, and Bella," He said, "I'm happy to have you on the team. It's the weekend so go have some fun with your friends, I can see there growing impatient in the parking lot."

I glanced towards the parking lot and found my self generally happy with the comment._ Friends_. I finally had people who cared. _And_ I was happy.

A/N: K so I know that this chapter is short but I needed it to build a bridge to move on to Edward's mind. Two big changes: 1.) I'm working on another story as well go check it out for me if you will and 2.) I'm a Beta so if you or any one you know needs a Beta feel free to send me a PM. Lastly, I'm updating this story every Tuesday. Now RAPE my REVIEW button. I promise it won't get offended( :


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I'm so very sorry about not having the chance to update. I left my two year old next to my lap top with a full cup of juice for about five minutes. After I got a new laptop my wifi was jacked up and it took forever for SUDDENLINK tocome out and do what we pay them to do.

Aside from that I feel that I'm really behind on my other story and I started with this story first so I'm going to work towards finishing this one before starting on any others. Basically, i'll be taking my other story down.

Now on to what you've all been waiting for . . .

School for me had gone fairly normal, except when the new girl strolled on to the track field. For some odd reason I felt elated to have seen her again because for the most part I had been avoiding her. Why? Who the fuck knows? . . . . No, the real reason was because she did something to me that just made me feel something familiar that I unknowingly had been longing for in the past few months. Yeah, I liked it but it wasn't right. I mean, there's nothing about her that's extraordinary. Nothing. Yet, I was so star struck by her I couldn't help it.

On the other hand I was kind of pissed. So naturally I gave her some lip only to find she could definitely handle the heat. She looked so smug when the coach announced she was here trying out for the team. But, she looked even happier after practice when coach told her she would be a part of the team. For some reason I wanted to be the one she went home to tell. To watch her face light up. To just be there for her.

I know that I'm a jackass, hell everybody knows, but even if I wanted a relationship with anyone there was three problems. 1.) Bella wasn't my type 2.)I wasn't boyfriend material because I wasn't in any shape or form of material whether that is as a friend, boyfriend, or for family in general 3.) I just didn't do relationships.

I tried blocking all those things out my mind as I walked towards the house and began my long ass walk home. Esme said she wouldn't take any chance at doing sports away because it was my only frustration outlet and it was good for ,me, that and she wanted me to try to earn a few scholarships instead of depending on my trust funds all set up and waiting for me. Of course I saw what she was trying to do but at some point I just didn't give a fuck at all. I know that was one of my many problems, the counselor even said so. What a joke, right? All that lady did was spout out a bunch of shit that I already knew. In the back of my head I knew I should have been listening but to be honest I just wasn't ready. The only thing Diana did was have the same question running through my mind day and night.

_Who do you want to be, Edward?_

I'll tell you who I wanna be. I wanna be the guy who rides in his own fuck hot car instead of walking in the rainy cold for almost eight miles home.

I blocked out these harboring thoughts as a car began to slow beside me. I turned back to look and see if I could make the car out and identify who the driver was. I saw mom's mini van come to a slow.

"Edward, get in the car we have somewhere to be, " Esme said.

I cleared my throat, "Alright."

Once in the van I started to warm up and dry some of the rain water off of me by using the seats.

Esme scowled at me trough the review mirror, "Stop acting childish will be home soon enough. As soon as your there go up stairs and shower. Put on the nice slacks and a presentable dress shirt set out for you, don't for get some nice shoes out of your closet."

"Um, is there a particular reason that we're getting all dressed up?"

"Were going out to eat before we come home and Alice begins her extravagant slumber party she insists on having. The girls she invited to the party are also coming to dinner. The decision has been made to drive some what into Port Angeles to eat at Chili's for dinner."

I sat back in my seat waiting to get in to that hot shower waiting for me at home. As I showered I thought about the usual people that came to one of Alice's events. For sure Rose would be there, Jessica and dimwitted Lauren, and Tanya and her obnoxious sisters. At the thought of Tanya I knew I needed to lock my door tonight because she had it engraved in her head that I'd be the perfect guy to have a relationship with. Yea, she used to be fun to party with and used to be a great fuck but like I said I didn't want a relationship, that and Tanya wasn't cuttin' it for me anymore.

I hurried down stairs and hopped back into the van and found Esme and Carlisle making out. Creepy. That described everything.

Alice sat in her seat oblivious to everything while she sat in the back on the phone, with no doubt Jasper.

Jasper and I have always been friends. There wasn't a moment that things were strained in our friendship. He always had my back and directed me into the right direction when I wasn't fit to make a real decision on stuff. He was there for me when my mother died and my father all but disowned me. When my dad disowned me it didn't hurt cause I felt unwanted it hurt that he had said he loved me and my mother, so much that he go to all the cost in taking me from my mother and naming me after him and his long line of father's and grandfathers before him. All my thoughts stopped at the mention of Bella's name.

"Oh, hey, Bella, come sat back her with me! Did you bring the twins?" Alice practically screamed in my ears.

I looked around and I was surrounded by girls and there was Bella getting into the van with two car seats in tow.

From that point on nothing but gossip, squeals, and laughter infuriated my ears. In the restaurant, where everybody was seated and waiting on the food everyone was less annoying. I'm not so surprised that my aunt and uncle requested separate seats on the other side of the restaurant. Yet, I'm stuck here. _Life._

"Oh my god, Bella, I can't believe you had a baby in high school! You do know the give out condoms at the front office, right? I heard it's like mandatory for all school ya know 'cause like people like you are always dumb enough to like get pregos like, duhh," Lauren and her nasally voice announced.

I looked to Bella for her reaction and saw her slightly flinch and look down at her kids sitting in the car seats, since they weren't old enough to sit in the highchairs that they provide.

"Mmmm, Lauren, mandatory sounds like a very big word for someone making straight F's. But the more important question I should point out is how someone would be so up to date on that specific subject unless they were going around being a little whore." Bella spat out.

Lauren seemed in shock at Bella's statement but nobody was really looking because all eyes were on Jessica.

"Excuse me," Jessica rolled her eyes, " I'd shut the fuck up if I were you, you wouldn't want people to know how your kids were really conceived would you? Would you want every body sitting at this table, everybody at school, to know how you were a whore? How you begged your step daddy to lay it on you, huh?" Jessica pretend to think then went back at it, "ooops guess the cats out of the bag." She shrugged her shoulders and laughed.

Bella looked up at everyone and started to stutter and begin to cry before she stood up and took the side exit outside.

I stood up to follow her and then turned around, "Rose, watch the kids, will ya? Oh, and Alice get rid of the unwanted guests, now."

Out side it was a bit dark but it wasn't so hard listening for Bella's slow weeps. I found her in the back alley, she looked even paler than normal and her face was redden and streaked with hot angry tears. My heart started to break and as fucked up as it was I knew what those familiar feelings that I felt for her was. But when she looked directly at me and barely whispered, " It wasn't my fault. I didn't mean to get her killed, too. I shouldn't have invited her over. I shouldn't . . . I'm so sorry. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I didn't ask for it. I didn't I swear. He started touching me . . .I can't remember the rest. My memories are gone. I feel so violated. He did it. He raped me."

I knew then and there who I wanted to be. I wanted to be hers. I wanted to take her hurt and pain away. I wanted to erase the bad and help create the good. I wanted to protect and care for both her and her boys. I wanted to be Isabella's in anyway she needed or wanted. But for the moment I wanted to hold her and that's what I did. I held her.

*******Who I Am*******

After calming Bella down last night I fought the urge to sneak into the girls' room after all their insanely annoying laughter and giggling finally stopped. When I woke up around ten in the morning I found Esme making a late breakfast.

"Hey, Esme, do you need some help?"

In all honesty she looked like complete shit. "No, dear, I just over slept. It was extremely hard getting to sleep last night between the girls giggling and constant cooing over Bella's adorable twins, the twins wailing, and Carlisle . . ." She trailed off and looked up at me, :"How did you sleep? I trust you got better sleep than I, correct?"

I lightly laughed and pretended it wasn't a big deal. We all knew Alice deserved this, after everything she has gone through this year. "Yeah, well, considering my bedroom wall neighbors Alice's, not really. Although it's cool, but I gotta say I'm surprised Alice was okay about Bella's boys crashing her overly planned out slumber party.'

Esme seemed to wonder on this as she got the eggs and bacon started, "Yes, well, everyone with in this house hold, especially Alice, has learned you can't take life for granted. Sweetheart, life is too short to spend fuming over things and always making mistakes. Of course, Carlisle and I would like you to make mistakes, only for the learning benefit, but when you make them over and over what do you really learn, Edward?"

I kept silent as I took the bread out of the bread box and filled the toaster with pre-buttered bread.

"Yeah, I know, I'm learning. Just not fast enough but I'm getting there, okay?"

"I understand its just a bit frustrating sometimes, Edward. I see it, I really do. I saw you last night, Edward. Although transformations don't happen over night I can see your on the right path," Esme acknowledged.

"How so?"

"How? You mean, how did I see it last night?"

"Yeah, Esme, how did you see it last night?," I groaned out.

"I saw it when you realized what you wanted. When you stepped back inside Chili's. I looked right into your eyes through the rearview mirror in the van on the way home. Now I must admit its all pretty fast and to be honest it scares me. But I can see the potential in what you can learn from her and her boys and vise versa. Just promise you'll be careful, she has gone through a lot over this past couple of months and she has a few tuff years ahead of her." Esme turned to look me dead in the eye, " Promise me that if you really care about her you'll be there for the tuff years too, because when the good ones roll around it makes the tuff ones seem like a distant memory."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah"

The girls started filling the kitchen one by one and Esme gave me a warning with her eyes.

"I promise"

"Who's promising what?" Alice questioned eagerly.

"Nothing Shorty, don't stick your nose in the air searching for something you can't reach." I said as a ruffled Alice's hair.

"Harty har har, Edward. And don't fuc-," she paused glancing at the twins on the kitchen counter, "Don't touch my freaking hair ever again, I'm not a dude!"

With that I went up to my room to change into a loose fitting shirt and basketball shorts. I knew I had to hurry if I wanted to make it on time to my appointment with Diana my councilor. Unfortunately, to my dismay I had counseling on Tuesday's and Saturday's then after my Saturday session I was off to Ellen's to mow her front and back lawn..

The city bus dropped me near the old stony building that was in dyer need of a few touch ups. I walked into the building and waited for my appointment, passing the time by reading chick magazines. When I finally got into Diana's office I just did the usual routine of ignoring her but for some reason I wanted to say something.

"So, your Bella's stepmom?"

Apparently Diana was surprised to hear me say something through all her babble.

"Excuse me?"

"You are Bella's stepmom, right?"

"Uh, I guess I am. Why?"

"Oh, and your also a grandmother, too? Ya know, to Bella's boy's?"

"Look, Mr. Cullen, I'm here to talk about your life issues and how we can resolve them to give both you and your parents an ease at mind. Not to talk about my own personal life."

"Esme and Carlisle are my Aunt and Uncle and until I'm eighteen, my guardians. But I figured we could make a deal. Ya know a compromise?"

"A compromise," She asked slowly.

"Yeah, when some one does something only wh-"

"I know what a compromise is, Edward." She seemed a little more agitated, " What kind of compromise?"

Now we were getting some where. I grinned to myself.

"Here is the deal, I'll tell a bit about my family situation, as to why I'm so bitter towards my dad and all if you can make amends towards your new additions towards your family. Come on, does it honestly seem fair to hold something out on a kid who wasn't there to stop the situation, not to mention your husband played a role in all of it, yet you forgave him so easily and stuck the blame all on one person. Sometimes many people in town tend to wonder whether or not you even harbored a single grudge against Renee," I sat forward on the warn in couch, "So? Are you willing to make some sort of trade off?"

Diana didn't seem to adamant about the idea but after a few long minutes she decided a bit reluctantly to try.

Grabbing her not book and pen she urged me to start. "Okay, well, when my mom was young, back then the were expected to be married of and start popping kid after kid out, and as what was expected of the prestigious family my mother came from she did what she was told. She got married even though she was in love with someone else someone her parents hadn't approved of, because of his wealth and social status. Sad but true. The man she married I am told was, Anthony William Douglas, a very wealthy man although all he ever cared for was his long line of women and stacks of money that he thought could be anything.

The only reason he married was to get his name cleaned up out the papers. No, he never cared for my mother but as what was expected she got pregnant. She of course was happy because next to being with Edward her real love she wanted children. But doctors said it wouldn't be easy because she a weak heart. She was recommended for bed rest and no stressful situations but one night a very drunk and pissed off Anthony came home and beat his wife. I'm not quite sure why he was angry, I don't think my mother ever knew either.

Elizabeth, my mother, suffered a miscarriage, of course the doctors knew why and had told her getting pregnant again would most likely kill her. But she didn't listen. Between difficult conception and her week heart she finally did it, she conceived me. Again, Anthony came home drunk and pissed off and found Elizabeth out side near the cliff were there house sat on. The fought, but she won, only by pushing him over the cliff. She testified on behalf of defending herself and won that too. When everything was said and done she was very pregnant, filthy rich from her now late husband's death, and unwed. What does she do?"

Diana seemed to be absorbing everything and finally looked up with questioning eyes, "well, what does she do?"

"She does what her mother wants. My grandmother let my mother marry her love pf her life only because she didn't want to look bad. Of course My mother and Edward were both elated. He was more than happy to be my father and have me take his name and continue the Masen legacy. Yet, he was still very worrisome about the condition that my mother was putting her body through. The were warned over and over again if I was born eventually Elizabeth would never recover. Edward was hopeful his wife would make it okay but deep down he knew it wasn't going to happen. Eventually he started resenting me. When I was first born he was livid about my name. Mother had insisted it be Edward Anthony Masen. The fact that Anthony's name was given to me some how rubbed him the wrong way, after all I was technically his son. The anger he held caused my mother become even more stressed. Soon he just pretend I didn't exist and mother remained bed ridden tell the day she died which was just a few short days after I turned six. Sir Edward sent me to live with Aunt Esme and Uncle Cullen after her death he left me with a few words that went all e lines of 'I was the cause of this and he couldn't bare looking me in the face, that I was just as evil and pained as my father', which was not referring to himself." I stood stretching my arms out a little and loosening me locked joints, "So that's that. You happy, now? I gotta catch the next bus toward the other side of town to mow my aunt's friend's lawn."

Diana stood up in protest, "Now, wait a minute. You can't just leave after something so emotional and intense as that."

"No, I think I can and besides I've been here almost a half hour past my scheduled time. I've got other things to do. I'll see you next Tuesday, okay?"

She looked confused and disheveled, " Oh, okay, I guess, but we will talk more about this in our next session."

"Yeah, we'll see. Bye."

I rushed out the building and sat on the bus bench and waited for the next bus to arrive. I felt relieved like I wasn't the only one sharing this burden. Now, this doesn't mean I'm gonna go all emo and shit and be a good kid. It just means I'm making progress. _Even if it's based on a deal, _I snickered to myself.

After getting off the stupid bus that smelled of mildew and sweat I grabbed the lawn mower from the shed out behind Ellen's house. Hot, sweaty, and definitely reading for a shower I was finally finished with the mowing. Not to mention I also picked all the weeds out of her flower garden. As I got ready to head back towards the bus stop someone pulled up and into the drive way. Bella stepped out the car wearing jeans and a a nice shade of blue with white trimming as her blouse. It was all put together with light gray boots. I noticed she looked really tired.

"Hey," I lamely said. Really? Hey? Dude, come up with something better than that, I berated my self mentally. Hell, your Edward Anthony Masen Cullen who gives panty dropping looks and all you could come up with was hey?

She nodded in my direction, "You look like you could use a shower."

I smirked, " Yeah, well you look like you could use a good night of sleep."

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind," She grimaced, " You could always help me out some time, ya know watch the boys for a day or something." She laughed off.

"Why not?," I shrugged with all seriousness.

"Yeah, like you'd like to watch a two screaming boys for fun."

"How 'bout you drive me home instead of making me take the bus and I'll return the favor by watching your boys someday?"

All laughter was gone from her eyes, "Really?"

"Yes, just like that."

I got into the passenger side and turned back to look at the boys sleeping in there car seats. They didn't look to bad, and that was coming from the guy who never wanted kids. Who didn't even like them to begin with.

We drove silently for the most part and right when she pulled up to the edge of my driveway she spoke softly.

"I'm sorry about last night I didn't have a right to lay that on you like that. I know that Jessica knows a lot about my past and she's most likely told a whole bunch of people but for my sanity do you think . . . do you think that you could not say anything?"

"My lips are sealed," I said as I pretended to lock my lips and throw away the key.

She wasn't amused, "Please, for real, I could use a friend and it be a lot easier if you could be a good friend and give me your word."

"I promise I won't say anything," I hope she could here every ounce of sincerity, "Oh, and Bella?"

"Yea?"

"I don't consider you a friend. At least from what I know your not supposed to have feelings that run deeper and still call them a friend," With that I hopped out the car and ran up the drive and towards the house.

I needed a shower bad. I needed a distraction. I needed Bella.

A/N: Y'know that button down there? You see it? Yeah, you should click on it and tell me what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hope everyone had a wonderful Happy 4th!

For the most part things have been great. I must admit I suspected the long stares and sneers from Jessica and Lauren were kind of starting to bother me. But it didn't take long for Lauren to speak up and let me know exactly how she felt. When she did I felt pretty confident in givin' her the same amount of sass and attitude she was giving me. I'll be honest I've never argued or gotten in to any sort of physical fight before because I've always been the type to suffer in silence and just rearrange things to their liking so no one got into any confrontation. So the first comeback that came to my mind was enough to express I didn't feel like takin' any shit from no one but not enough to really get her furious. Turns out Lauren didn't fight her own battles, no, she had Jessica to do that for her. What she said really hurt and I won't lie and say I didn't get up and walk out the restaurant and break down, 'cause I did.

I completely lost it, I hadn't told anyone my fears or the pain and hurt I had forgone through other than myself. I kept it in because that was just who I was and quiet frankly I don't think I could have dealt with any thing else.

Next thing I know I'm in a cold, dirty alleyway having an emotional break down while this guy holds me. I stood there for what felt like forever while I cried and Edward whispered words of reassurance. At that moment I didn't know if he was doing because he felt obligated or because he truly cared about me.

After making our way backing it was decided we'd head home and snack on junk food while Jessica and Lauren ride home using the taxi. Alice apologized profusely, and I let her up until I had had enough. Edward had gone to his room upon arrival at the Cullen's and it gave me a few impressions on multiple things.

The girls and I ate caramel popcorn and candy from the moment we had our sleeping bags settled tell we were to tired to fight exhaustion.

An hour and half went by and I still hadn't fell into a deep sleep and neither had Alice because I found myself being tapped on the shoulder.

"Yea, Alice?," I whispered.

"I'd just like to thank you for coming, y'know, 'cause you didn't have to. Especially when you could have been home taking care of your kids in the comfort of you own home rather than them over here and you being watched by a number of other teenagers."

"Your welcome, Alice. Despite the restaurant fiasco everything else was a blast, although it is kinda weird having a sleep over when your sisters you hardly know are their to."

"Yeah, I guess that is a bit weird. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I drawled out extremely curious as to what she was fixing rot ask.

"When my brother went after you . . . outside . . . what exactly did you guys do . . . I mean talk about? Did you guys even talk?"

I let out a shaky breath, trying to find words to say that didn't offend her and yet gave her enough information to let her know that it was a trying conversation that I wasn't emotionally ready to go through and come to terms with," Alice, you're my friend, right? So, when I say that everyone has secrets, very dark ones, it takes time to heal and allow yourself to grieve before feeling comfortable in your own skin. Feeling like no matter what you say or do, your friends will be there to help guid you through the on coming hard times. The ones we'd like to pretend . . . . pretend will never happen."

I was met with silence so I figured her over hyper-active self fell asleep, and if she did I knew it wasn't her fault but it was hard to not feel a ting of rejection. I mentally scowled myself for wanting to turn over on my side and silently break down again.

Just when I felt calm enough to will myself to sleepAlicespoke softly into the stale air, "I have cancer . . . well not currently. . . .Actually, I don't know. I'm scared, Bella, but I don't want to fight it anymore. Just a few weeks ago I stopped treatment. The doctors had hopes and reminded me that there is a slight chance I could completely rid of it. Bella, slight means not even fifty fifty. Hell, they were talking about less than twenty-five percent chance but they said it was possible. The doctors give every one hope but they don't give false hope. They do make it a priority to tell you the chance in mathematical terms, because not everyone will make it. Does all that make since?" Alice blew out a breathe, discarding herself of it. As if it was even possible.

Possibilities.

Chances.

Hope.

I couldn't stomach even learning I had cancer. I couldn't deal with the reality if possibly not being there for my boys. They were my everything. I certainly wouldn't want to find out they had it. I'd fight tell the death to keep them breathing. The prospect was mind blowing.

"How? How could you give up?"

"Bella, I'm not giving up. When your five you want to be a princess, when your thirteen you want to be president and make a difference, and three years after that, you can't wait to get out of high school start your career get married and have kids, a boy and a girl. But ever since I was a little girl I only ever wanted a few things. For me those things aren't about having a career because I don't know what I want to be, it isn't getting married because all I want to do is fall passionately in love, I know it may sound selfish that I'll only worry about Edward when I'm gone, but he needs someone, I just want to know he'll have someone, and lastly I want to make . . . a mark on this world. God has a plan, Bella, listen for it, and never give up. I'm really not, no matter what anyone believes."

My heart broke at her words, I found myself huggingAlicewhile cold tears rolled down my heated cheeks, "I promise to listen for God's words. I promise."

*******Who I Am*******

When I got up in the morning it was well before any of the girls. I went across the hall to where the boys slept together in what was Alice's and Emmett's baby crib the let us borrow. They were up and crying, I did my best to contain them and try getting them both to eat. When I say eat, I mean aggressively attack at my over swollen nipples do to nursing both Caden andColton. Once I was finished I went down stairs to see if anyone was up yet. Once down stairs I saw Carlisle slipping out the front door, on his way to the hospital were he worked and Esme starting her first cup of coffee. Pour women, I mused, she has got her hands full.

She glanced up and nodded her head acknowledged me and motioned me to sit beside her at the breakfast nook.

"I'm sorry if we kept you and your husband awake last night, and I don't just mean us girls."

She shook her head and swallowed her next sip," Oh, It's fine, dear; I actually enjoyed it for the most part. Gosh, it's been so long since we had babies in the house," She half heartedly laughed.

I smiled, "I'm glad you think so. Sometimes I'd like to disagree. Although, I wouldn't trade them for the world."

Esme turned to me and gave me a good look up and down, steadying my face," Listen, Bella, I know she told you. It's her decision and I get that I've just come to terms, I yet, to grieve. Considering she isn't gone yet. I doubt she';; ever be gone. One thing I do know is having sympathy for someone is completely different for feeling sorry for someone, okay?' She gave me a brief shoulder hug, "As for anyone else concern on your boys, tell 'em their god given. Yes, there gods gift to you after such a tragic and horrifying event."

I nodded my head and agreed then let her know I was going to wake the other girls up if they weren't already stirring.

I opened the door to a pile of sleeping girls and their sleeping bags whileAlicepaced the floor.

"Ali, what's up with you? I was sent back up by Esme, she wanted me to let you know to stop pacin' a dang gon' hole in her floor," I said laughing at my own joke.

From the look onAlice's face she wasn't as amused, "I thought you had left! Gone. Poof! Was it me? Did I lay too much on you?"

Grabbing a hold ofAliceI said," No, Alice, You didn't run me off. Not even close. I just had to nurse my boys, okay?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Sorry for freaking out, its just only you and Rose know, besides my family."

Oh. "Oh, okay, cool. Anyway, Esme is startin' on breakfast. I figured you could help me, y'know, wake everyone up." I didn't mean to brush off that tid bit of information but what the hell was I supposed to say to that. I may not know a lot ofAlice's skeletons but I knew enough about her that she didn't want anyone hovering and thrown pity at her feet.

"Sure, I can do that."

*******Who I Am*******

After getting everyone up and boy presentable considering Edward and Emmett did live here, I grabbed Caden and Colton out their borrowed cribs and followed behind everyone else down the stairs. I saw Edward having a mama's boy chat so I didn't bother to interrupt. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to interrupt because that means we'd actually have to sit down and have conversation 'bout the night before.

Just a few hours up stairs and a half hour long rant from Alice saying things like, 'who does he think he is?', 'not everyone wants sex hair?', and my favorite 'he needs to get laid'. Me and him both!

I won't lie, before Phil I was sexually active. Hell, I was sexually active since around the age of fifteen. Most guys I was with weren't really all that great but then again we were only kids so none of us really knew what we were doing. Even though my sex life wasn't all that great that doesn't stop me from getting extremely horny and wanting to rip off Cullen's pants.

Unlike him I had stuff –correction people- to take of. I needed to start a few loads of laundry. Clean up the house and start on dinner. Heck, I needed an ID that represented the age I actually felt. At least then I could drink.

Alice and the girls drove me back to school so I could pick up my car and head back to my house and start on the inevitable. I had felt relieved that I no longer had to be cautious about Edward being around. 'Cause even though I wasn't anybody's definition of sexy or beautiful which probably meant no one would be looking my way didn't mean I couldn't look his way, right?

God, help me!

He's too good for his own good and what makes matters worse is according to Grandma Ellie, him and the rest of the Cullen's are practically family. In fact she went into great detail how somewhere down the line we're actually intertwined by marriage, that doesn't mean by blood just legally. So, does what I feel for him incest? I hope not, because that would squash any thoughts of us together doin' anything whether in reality or in my dreams. Ughh, life is so fucking complicated.

And things just got a little more complicated!

I pull up into the gravel driveway and there I see a sweaty Edward wiping his face off from the sun and sweat. So, fucking sexy!

I get out the car in some halfway stance and say something stupid like, "You look like you could use a shower."

He gave me one of his cocky grins, "Yeah, well you look like you could use a good night of sleep."

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind," and I thought I hid it well, " You could always help me out some time, ya know watch the boys for a day or something." I tried to laugh it off like it didn't hurt to have had that noticed, maybe making jokes helps, I thought.

"Why not?" He said, like he'd enjoy watching two newborns.

"Yeah, like you'd like to watch a two screaming boys for fun."

"How 'bout you drive me home instead of making me take the bus and I'll return the favor by watching your boys someday?"

Is he serious, "Really? Just like that?"

"Yes, just like that."

As I got back into the car I noticed Edward looking at the boys in the back seat. I wondered for the briefest second if he hated kids. If he did I know that we wouldn't stand a chance, my boys come first. Always.

Before I let Edward get out the car I had to make sure that he knew that what I said last night was going to stay between us.

"I'm sorry about last night I didn't have a right to lay that on you like that. I know that Jessica knows a lot about my past and she has most likely told a whole bunch of people but for my sanity do you think . . . do you think that you could not say anything?"

Edward promised he wouldn't as he did some little cute lock up with his lips and hands and made a weird sound.

"Please, for real, I could you a friend and it be a lot easier if you could be a good friend and give me your word." , I didn't mean for it to sound like a plead but I needed him to know how sincere I was

He turned to me with a sober, "I promise I won't say anything, "He stopped and took in a slow breathe, "Oh, and Bella?"

"Yea?"

"I don't consider you a friend. At least from what I know you're not supposed to have feelings that run deeper and still call them a friend."

Oh, fuck. It was way easier wanting to have something with him rather than actually being so close to it.

Three loads of laundry, an accidental bleached shirt, two very playful babies, sore nipples, and the quickest shower known to man later I was sitting in bed wide awake trying to fall asleep. Unsuccessful by the way. I tried rocking the boys while they slept but that just made my arms tingle from falling asleep. I tried rereading Wuthering Heights but the story between the characters was to conflicting and made me think to hard.

Eventually, I realized I had to fall asleep sooner or later, and those dreams were most definitely going to involve Edward Cullen, him and his sex hair.

*******Who I Am*******

I woke to a light tap on my door, when I opened it grandma Ellie was dressed in her night gown holding out the cordless phone.

"Telephone, sweet pea." I nodded my head and said thanks after learning it was 7 A.m. Ughh.

"Hello?"

Silence.

"Hello?"

More silence.

"Y'know, some of us have shit to do?"

"Isabella?"

I froze; I had only ever heard that soft. Calming voice a few times.

"Miz Diana?"

A/N: I'd say I'm sorry for the cliff hanger but I'm not. LOL! Don't freak though, I should be updating with in the next two or three days.

Review if you want me to update faster than three days:)


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